Today, we remember everyone who has lost their lives as a result of war, whether they were in the armed forces, were civilians at home, our allies, or once our enemies; we remember their great sacrifice, and our loss, and we continue to pray for peace in the world.
Memory is a precious faculty. It connects us with people and events that are no longer present to us. When someone we love dies, we feel the need to connect our lives with that of the deceased. Here is where memory comes to our aid. As soon as our loved one dies, memory begins to work overtime. However, at the same time a cloud of grief descends upon us.
Grief is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good and necessary thing. But it can be so painful that we may be tempted to suppress it. However, memory makes this almost impossible. Hence, we may be tempted to also suppress our memories of the deceased, but we should resist this.
We all want to be remembered. Jesus too wanted to be remembered. In his love for us he left us a special way of remembering him, namely, the Eucharist, when he said, 'Do this in memory of me.'
The wonderful thing is, when we remember him in this way, he becomes present to us. Not physically present, but nevertheless really present. And through the Eucharist a spiritual bond is forged between us, with the result that we are able to enter into a deeper intimacy with him than if he were physically present, and in this way were not just in communication with him, but in communion with him.
Each time we go to Mass we are called to remember the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It was he who said that there is no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for his friends, and he called his disciples his friends, not servants. He laid down his life, so that we may live.
When our Lord spoke about remembering, He didn’t mean think back to the past. He meant, bring that past event into the present. So when he said eat my flesh and drink my blood “in remembrance of me,” he didn’t just mean for us to remember the last supper and his death and resurrection, he meant for us to bring that event into the present. In other words, when we eat his flesh and drink his blood, we are really present with him in the upper room at the night of his last supper, and he is really present with us now.
So in a way, today, when we are called to remember those who have died in war, we are called to bring those people into the present, we are called to bring that moment of their sacrifice into the present, and we are called to remember them everyday of our lives, and to give thanks to God for their sacrifice, so that we may live in peace.
Our loved ones are never really lost, never separated from us. If we cherish their memory, they become present to us. They are not just a memory but a real presence, a presence we feel rather than see. When we remember them with love, we are in communion with them.
When we finally accept that our loved one is gone, we are able to thank God for the gifts he gave us through them. This helps us to let go of negative feelings such as anger and guilt. In their place come fond memories to cherish, memories which like good wine improve with time.
One of the ways of repaying the debt we owe to our loved ones, is not to forget them. And by remembering them, we continue to reap a rich harvest from what they sowed whilst still among us. There are people whose impact is almost greater in death than in life. As Helen Keller once said, all those who we love deeply, become a part of us.